Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
