I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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