My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize