there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
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Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
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He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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