video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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