How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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