8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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