are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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