My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
