I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
