I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Are we still banned from the library?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He shit in the fireplace
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