i dedicated my morning wood to you.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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