i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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