that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
