White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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