these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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