Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You don't make any sense
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