I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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