I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
