another moral hangover. fuck.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
