I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
