did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.