Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
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If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
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Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.