As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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