you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I think I sprained my soul last night
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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