it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
