After last night, I could never be a politician.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
