brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
