It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
