i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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