drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
