shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
