She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
