Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
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Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
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And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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