Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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