I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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