just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize