next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
