If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
