**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Of course I have a pirate flag
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
