How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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