I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
