Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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