i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
