So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
