As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
