This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
