what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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