And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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