You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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