Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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