when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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