Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
