youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
