I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
