I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
