saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i wish my penis had a tongue
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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