wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
stop calling my apartment porn island.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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