Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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