i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
