What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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