ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Do you still have your period?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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