Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
