You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
