I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
