spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Randomize
