I want to stick my p in your. b.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
