We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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