yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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