So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
